I am not pregnant, stop asking me “WHY?!”. Thanks.

Though public opinion, a wonderful phenomenon – sarcasm, sets some values for a cohesive community life, when it starts interfering with my (your) life directly, it definitely feels like a burden to carry. At first, it’s our 3 AM drunk returns home and I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but now, I am discovering that public opinion can have a direct and sudden interest in your insides, specifically your ovaries. My ovaries.

It wouldn’t be fair to say that public opinion has had more opinions about women than men. I think men go through a fair share of “public judgement” too. However, women definitely have way more discussion topics in the course of their lives, which makes them more interesting and susceptible for collective opinions.

So, I would like you to stop asking us women why we’re not pregnant, for the following reasons:

  1. Stop asking because we don’t know you that much:
    If I have a child, unless you’re direct family, it won’t matter to you beyond a 2-minute sob7iyeh gossip. So back off.

    My mom’s neighbor asked her if I were pregnant. My mom said ‘no’. The neighbor was so disappointed and told my mom to push me to do it, it’s the best thing! Ironically: this neighbor has never been married and doesn’t have any children… not even out of wedlock. I checked.  Also, I literally never have spoken to this person… in my life, ever. Shou bedik Tante?

  2. Stop asking because you’re being an insensitive ass. 

    Suppose my answer is I am sterile, infertile, a barren flower… ya haram.
    WTF would your reply be? Do you really want to be in that situation?

    And my heart goes out to all women who want and are trying to get pregnant, and are not able too for any reason. With people reminding them of this, every day of their lives, until they feel like they failed society; I can’t even imagine their state of frustration.

  3. Stop asking because it’s literary – not figuratively – none of your business.

    You’re going to try to convince me, I am going to listen politely and then walk away.
    Or, I can listen and tell you that I don’t want to have any children because I believe that this world is cruel, to say the least, and I don’t want to be the reason for anyone to suffer through it, just because “I want a cute baby for my Instagram stories”. Or because I am selfish enough to have a child so it could love my sorry soul unconditionally. Thanks, Britney.

The reasons why I am not pregnant are many: 
1, I’ve been married for literary – figuratively this time – 5 minutes.
2, I don’t have the budget for a child right now. BABIES COST MONEY FYI — I can’t send them to school with your wishes for me to have them.
3, I still have a couple of things I’d like to do with my life before I decide to inflict some of this society’s rules and absurd values on a toddler.
4, I strongly believe that to have a child you should be well inside, and my wellness level, thankfully, due to everything that is happening in our country, is not very high and hopeful right now.
5, I don’t want anyone to raise my kid but me – by anyone I mean a housekeeper, who I think most of Lebanon’s women think it’s her job description.

But mostly, I am not pregnant, because I don’t want to be… right now. I hope that is okay with all of you who are wondering.

Now for other topics you can discuss: corruption, Lebanon is the second most polluted country, public beaches… oh, you have none, the World Cup, how to have a life of your own, hobbies other than my reproductive system etc….

And when I have my first child, could you please not ask me when is the second? Please.

And here are a bunch of Gifs that express things:

K, bye.

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