3 things some Lebanese Girls are SERIOUSLY sick of hearing.

1- “3a2bellik”.

I don’t know whether to tackle this matter in a serious or sarcastic manner, but however way I choose to discuss it will result in this statement: Not every Lebanese girl wants to be married, ok Tante?

When a girl gets her high-school diploma, all her relatives and family friends wish her “Nefra7 mennik”, while they wish her brother “Nefrah bi shedetak”. I graduated form university last year and all some of my relatives could wish me was “Sar wa2et nshoufik 3arous!” I graduated top of my class, wish me success and a bright career not to wear a puffy dress for one day so you could eat cake. In Lebanon some still consider an unmarried woman a “ratée” if not publicly then secretly, even if she builds a successful career or travels the world and seems genuinely happy, “Haram, ma ejeha nassib”

So yes it might come as a shock to you, some women do not want to be married. Some women don’t dream about wearing a white dress, rice being thrown at them, and they don’t imagine every guy they date riding a white horse and coming to rescue them from… whatever they’ve been doing that has made them happy so far. I am not saying that getting married is something none of us want, but yes pick your chins up off the floor, that’s not every girl’s ultimate goal/dream.

I don’t want to be a human cake.

2- “Khali yedfa3 3annik, deyman!”

Men used to haunt for food and then they paid for it. But that was the Stone Age and the 1900’s. It’s 2015 woman these days work and get paid. #MAMAAA #IsThisReality

So it amazes me when I overhear two women talking in a café and one tells the other “khali yedfa3, ma tmedde idik 3a jaybtik” and then the reasons:

– Bi sorrolo yodhar ma3ik  

– Hayda el ousoul

– Lezim houwe yehtam fike

– Ta ma yfaker eno ente mayte 3le.

I take a deep breath, and ponder upon that thought. If this is what women are advising one another to this day, I don’t know how demanding equal pay will be granted to us. We want the same perks men get for being men, then better “act” equal to them. No one needs to be taking care of you and no man should feel like he owes you for going out with him. Dating is a two way street.  Chivalry and my boyfriend treating me to a dinner every once and while is amazing, but I always like to reciprocate the gesture, men deserve to be pampered as well, they’ll love you more for it.

3- “Ente Benet”

The excuse/shame/guilt insinuating/boundary creating expression society/parents give girls when they announce they’re moving out, when they’re home at 6:00 A.M. after a long night, when they yell and cuss, when they come home drunk, when they get into a bit of trouble, when they stink, whenever they want to travel along, whenever they want something you know … men are doing because you know they’re men. Though these days society has become more accepting, well more like forced suck it up, most of it is still wide eyed and in awe whenever girls don’t abide by the laws that they were unaware came with their vaginas.

 

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