10 things no one told you about getting a job.

We’ve spent our whole lives fooled by the perks of being a grown up. Wearing what we thought as children were “costumes” and having “titles”; was the ultimate dream. Independent, having somewhere to be, something to do, your own money to splurge, that was the big dream. Imagine if you’d gotten your wish of being a professional princess or a superhero, the stuff that you had to do. Oh no, take that crown away, thank you.

Having a job is indeed rewarding, especially if you love what you do like me, somewhere to be, something to do; but even if you manage to do the job very well there are some things you weren’t aware were part of the deal.

1- The waking up early.

I knew it was part of the deal. FINE.  I am late for everything. I was late for my birth.

Bless that epidural that kept my mother waiting.  Who thought 9 min, the default snooze time after your alarm goes off, is acceptable? “Please I need 9 more min!” said no one ever. Before realizing I could change it to 2, those were the extra 36 minutes I was late. Thank you iPhone. I tend to blame everyone and everything for my tardiness — ballet recitals, pianos falling on the street, my mother’s genes, Jesus, Mexicans, aliens and sometimes Beyoncé because she’s not blamed for anything major, really and she can handle the heat.

But really I blame everything because of the way I feel when I am late. Like learning to change the snooze’s default time I had many things I needed to adapt to.

2- The traffic.

But I’ve decided that I will no longer speak about the hours of my life that are wasted on the streets of Beirut. WASTED.

3- You start worrying about you eat.

Before you ate pizza for breakfast because why not. It’s cold pizza and it’s the best. But after a month of having a job and gaining weight with the same dietary choices, you learn to count calories and lettuce is becomes your frenemy.

4- The bags under your eyes need tea bags.

Remember when in college you shared that post “I have designer bags under my eyes” honey it ain’t designer till you get a job.

5- looking like a girl becomes a bit hard.

Even looking clean is an effort, since washing your hair is a commitment.

6- Your colleagues.

I don’t know about you but I got lucky. Part of having a career is meeting new people in the business, maybe cause I work in advertising I got to meet a fun crowd.  And I’ve grown to be fond of all of them. Yes all of you. They know how lazy of a cook my mother is and when it’s my time of the month. And they accept me. I guess.

7- Social life, Bye bye bye.

Remember when you had 10000 friends and you loved all of them equally, now it’s down to 4 precious ones that you see occasionally.

8- I am sorry I can’t make tonight… I already have plans.

That’s your answer when someone calls you to do something on a weekday.  Remember you were in college and you had Margueritas on Tuesdays because it was Tuesday… now after work, that’s almost always straight to bed for you. Early dinners are fine but you’ll kiss goodbye those weekday late night drinks.

9- Sunday’s plans.

Wake me up when the food is ready.

10- You’re broke.

You never learn how expensive life is until your start working. You’re always broke. And by the 10th of the month you regret everything you ever bought, even. You wait for pay day, until it’s two days after pay day and then you wait for pay day again.

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